Today, I suppose it just the evenings that I feel lonely and
wish I had someone with me. I have a fair number of friends, both close friends
and more casual acquaintances. But today
I start thinking that I don’t have any friends when I probably have more than
other people in my environment. YES, I believe in the fact that anyone can’t
avoid feeling lonely. In some ways, we are alone- no one can jump in our heads
and be there for us 100% the way we desire. I think accepting my feelings as
normal might make me feel a little less lonely but sadly it’s not.
So my mind starts distorting my feeling towards my
boyfriend. I have a boyfriend but I still feel lonely? Frankly saying, he’s
doing all goods to me, we usually talked every night and texted me to say good
morning/ good night. My boyfriend is very understandable of my situation. Due
to our only means of communication is over the phone, it is the reason, why I felt
so lonely. I feel like I’m being neglected because we’re in long distance
relationship. I know he cares for me deeply but it is all from FAR. I also hate
the fact that I always have to initiate our date when it’s all normal for all
men that they like unplanned things.
It is under my knowledge that even in the best relationship,
you can sometimes feel alone. That sense of separateness is INESCAPABLE, but it
doesn’t have to be painful. In fact, it can be the place where strength begins.
The dawning of loneliness is very strange time in relationship. It can be a
sign that something is wrong—but this is not always the case. One of the
age-old truths about love is that while it offers unparalleled opportunities
for union and the lifting of ego boundaries, it also washes up on the shores of
the loved one’s otherness. Sooner or later, love makes us feel inescapably
separate.
Sometimes I feel like giving up, because it’s so hard to
keep a long-distance relationship. We have some good days and some bad days. I
always told him that I wasn’t satisfied of how are relationship is becoming. He
was clueless. He thought everything is okay. But I wasn’t. I’m still not okay.
I try to be positive, but this issue keeps pop up in my mind. I always want to
bring it up again and somehow led me to take a break in our relationship. I
really don’t know what to do. I just hate feeling this way and crying over him
most night yet no conclusion. So, “SEPARATE”? Nooo, my problem is that I LOVE
HIM SO MUCH, thus what I need to do……(arghhhhhhhh~ :'( )
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